Jim, I can identify with a lot of what you’ve been writing about in this series. A lot of my renovations have been shared with my wife and just a couple of other pastors and a few friends honest enough to be transparent about their own experiences. I’m 76 and quite frankly coming out like you have isn’t worth the risk to my mental and emotional health. I admire you Jim and I always take away great thoughts from your posts.
I hear you! And there’s no need to follow me in that coming out journey. I went public because in my case, not doing so was affecting my mental and emotional health.
I recently went to the WWI museum in Kansas City and learned that mines and other unexploded ordinance are still in the ground in NE France. It’s called the Iron Harvest. Hundreds of farmers have died in the last 100 years after WWI while trying to simply put food on the table. While at the museum this struck me as a powerful (literal) symbol of intergenerational trauma. Thanks to your deconstruction metaphor I see that it’s also a symbol of the dangers of false teaching.
I was fortunate in that when I began my deconstruction, the church I was at closed down (the two events were unrelated!) And so I had no-one on my back; no-one to tell me how wrong I was, and even if I had had such people in my life, part of my deconstruction was that I no longer cared a damn what Christians thought. So, for me it was easy - plus I am Autistic and as part of my condition I lack the need to please people anyway. All advantages!
The landmines are there for sure. Since I pretty vocally stepped out of the deconstruction closet at the outset, I developed a numbness to them after a short while. I also had the advantage of knowing that I wasn't alone early on. I had friends in the clergy who were also asking the same questions. It always helps when you know that you aren't alone, and you are SO not alone.
Yes. If I’d had some kind of group support at the time, it would have made a huge difference. When I finally found one FB friend who was also deconstructing, it was like someone threw me a lifeline.
We all take our own path through, and it is a courageous path to take. In the end, we both survived the trip, and are reaching back to help others out.
Jim, I can identify with a lot of what you’ve been writing about in this series. A lot of my renovations have been shared with my wife and just a couple of other pastors and a few friends honest enough to be transparent about their own experiences. I’m 76 and quite frankly coming out like you have isn’t worth the risk to my mental and emotional health. I admire you Jim and I always take away great thoughts from your posts.
I hear you! And there’s no need to follow me in that coming out journey. I went public because in my case, not doing so was affecting my mental and emotional health.
I recently went to the WWI museum in Kansas City and learned that mines and other unexploded ordinance are still in the ground in NE France. It’s called the Iron Harvest. Hundreds of farmers have died in the last 100 years after WWI while trying to simply put food on the table. While at the museum this struck me as a powerful (literal) symbol of intergenerational trauma. Thanks to your deconstruction metaphor I see that it’s also a symbol of the dangers of false teaching.
Definitely!
I was fortunate in that when I began my deconstruction, the church I was at closed down (the two events were unrelated!) And so I had no-one on my back; no-one to tell me how wrong I was, and even if I had had such people in my life, part of my deconstruction was that I no longer cared a damn what Christians thought. So, for me it was easy - plus I am Autistic and as part of my condition I lack the need to please people anyway. All advantages!
Indeed! I wish I’d had a few of those advantages. :)
The landmines are there for sure. Since I pretty vocally stepped out of the deconstruction closet at the outset, I developed a numbness to them after a short while. I also had the advantage of knowing that I wasn't alone early on. I had friends in the clergy who were also asking the same questions. It always helps when you know that you aren't alone, and you are SO not alone.
Yes. If I’d had some kind of group support at the time, it would have made a huge difference. When I finally found one FB friend who was also deconstructing, it was like someone threw me a lifeline.
Shared burdens are always lighter. A significant part on my ministry now is guiding people along the deconstruction path.
It would have been nice for me to have someone to walk with. I appreciate your work.
We all take our own path through, and it is a courageous path to take. In the end, we both survived the trip, and are reaching back to help others out.
Yes!
Oh the landmines! This is so true and it has sadly caused me to become pretty quiet in many circles.
Yep. Same here. (even now!)