I appreciate the way you articulate the unanswerable questions and self-checks that arise when one seriously interrogates the standard Christian takes on a story like yours.
For quite a while I imprecisely, somewhat fuzzily held onto the idea of an all loving, omniscient and omnipotent deity who *sometimes* chooses to intervene directly in human circumstance but *usually* doesn't and instead is present and just works in and through whatever circumstances occur in the natural order of things . . . but eventually when other studies seriously called into question for me the historicity of the claims about YHWH, Israel, the historical Jesus and the core historical claims of the Christian faith, when I turned back to reexamine my takes on Providence, the problem of suffering, what to make of extremely rare but not unheard of occurrences and coincidences, i felt I had to acknowledge I had been trying to square a circle on those issues.
An analogy I sometimes think of is a powerball lottery. The odds against winning are astronomical. But the odds that SOMEONE is going to win, are quite high. But if I was the one to win, I would probably feel a pull to think there must be some type of providential meaning or purpose or cosmic fiddling with either the numbers I played or the numbers that popped up such that *I* was the lucky one. I can't blame someone for feeling that way or coming to that conclusion, and there's no way to conclusively either disprove or prove the existence of such a Providence.
I'm glad you survived, and I'm glad you've become the kind of Christian you are rather than the kind you used to be. Tbh despite our landing in different places with regard to theism, I think we're both better off being where we are belief-wise than where we were, and the world is better for us both landing where we've respectively landed, than if we had stayed where we each were.
The powerball is a good comparison. The natural reaction to think that god made us win.
Where I am now, I’d tend to see it as a weighty responsibility, to use the money wisely and for doing good. Not so much that God chose me to win, but that he expects me to use those winnings to help others.
Jim, it's a fine dance reconciling providence and free will, and I too have struggled with that. I also add into the mix, to share the words of Keith Miller, author of A Taste of New Wine, that there are two truths: God is real, we're not him. My "deconstruction" has tremendously enhanced my perception of the transcendence and power and mystery of God. I feel somewhat like an ant critiquing Einstein's Theory of Relativity.
Both providence and free will are true, despite their sometimes apparent contradiction.
Beautiful and honest words! Takes a lot of courage and discernment to arrive at that conclusion, there is a wonderful movie with Jeff Bridges that deals precisely with that feeling you have, it’s called FEARLESS, I highly recommend it for further exploration of this theme.
Well I’m certainly happy and glad that did. I’m blessed by your honest and transparent posts Jim.
Thank you!
I appreciate the way you articulate the unanswerable questions and self-checks that arise when one seriously interrogates the standard Christian takes on a story like yours.
For quite a while I imprecisely, somewhat fuzzily held onto the idea of an all loving, omniscient and omnipotent deity who *sometimes* chooses to intervene directly in human circumstance but *usually* doesn't and instead is present and just works in and through whatever circumstances occur in the natural order of things . . . but eventually when other studies seriously called into question for me the historicity of the claims about YHWH, Israel, the historical Jesus and the core historical claims of the Christian faith, when I turned back to reexamine my takes on Providence, the problem of suffering, what to make of extremely rare but not unheard of occurrences and coincidences, i felt I had to acknowledge I had been trying to square a circle on those issues.
An analogy I sometimes think of is a powerball lottery. The odds against winning are astronomical. But the odds that SOMEONE is going to win, are quite high. But if I was the one to win, I would probably feel a pull to think there must be some type of providential meaning or purpose or cosmic fiddling with either the numbers I played or the numbers that popped up such that *I* was the lucky one. I can't blame someone for feeling that way or coming to that conclusion, and there's no way to conclusively either disprove or prove the existence of such a Providence.
I'm glad you survived, and I'm glad you've become the kind of Christian you are rather than the kind you used to be. Tbh despite our landing in different places with regard to theism, I think we're both better off being where we are belief-wise than where we were, and the world is better for us both landing where we've respectively landed, than if we had stayed where we each were.
The powerball is a good comparison. The natural reaction to think that god made us win.
Where I am now, I’d tend to see it as a weighty responsibility, to use the money wisely and for doing good. Not so much that God chose me to win, but that he expects me to use those winnings to help others.
Jim, it's a fine dance reconciling providence and free will, and I too have struggled with that. I also add into the mix, to share the words of Keith Miller, author of A Taste of New Wine, that there are two truths: God is real, we're not him. My "deconstruction" has tremendously enhanced my perception of the transcendence and power and mystery of God. I feel somewhat like an ant critiquing Einstein's Theory of Relativity.
Both providence and free will are true, despite their sometimes apparent contradiction.
Well put, Tim!
Harrowing story!
“I’m learning to live with unanswered questions”
Meeee tooo. And somehow, it’s more comforting than when I (thought) i had all the answers.
It is strangely comforting, isn’t it?
Beautiful and honest words! Takes a lot of courage and discernment to arrive at that conclusion, there is a wonderful movie with Jeff Bridges that deals precisely with that feeling you have, it’s called FEARLESS, I highly recommend it for further exploration of this theme.
Thank you! I’ll check it out.
I can't even begin to explain how much I relate to this, James.
❤️
Glad you left Calvinism as well as healed from your heart attack. Calvin was / is far more deadly.
Thanks. And I agree completely.